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It’s okay to let go of relationships when they no longer serve you.

Relationships, in general, have been on my mind a lot lately. Maybe it’s because I’m single and preparing to mingle. Or perhaps it’s because I’m meeting a lot of new people in different circles. Whatever the reason is, I’m beginning to understand relationships are equal parts, joy and excitement, growth and lessons.

I have spent a lot of time on my recent quest to understand why people are the way they are, and why they show up in my life when they do. My perception is quite simple; every person I’ve ever met resembles a chess piece — a player in my game of life who has a unique position on my board. I love every King, Queen, Rook, Bishop, Knight and Pawn I’ve ever played with, but I am positive the role of said pieces only exists to challenge my next move towards inner growth. As a soul first, every important lesson I have learned has always been in conjunction with another.

As I reflect on my relationships, the people who play significant roles in my life closely mirror where I also am, or where I wish to be. This reflection shows up in thoughts, behaviours, habits and perceptions. Although I have found ease in establishing and cultivating many types of relationships, it’s safe to say over the years; there have been many changes with whom I keep in my circle. I refer to this as the simple law of attraction. We attract what we are and what we think, as we can only perceive what we know. And as we grow individually, we aren’t in charge of who grows with us. It’s essential to check in with the relationships we have. Ideally, they make us happy and, more importantly, help us improve, but it’s also not uncommon to outgrow someone either. Any time I’ve said goodbye in a relationship, it wasn’t about the other person being lesser than or bad. It was merely a time in my life where I outgrew the similar qualities that once brought us together. Regardless of the person, I’ve always separated myself in exchange for personal change and transformation. Ending relationships is never easy, so choose to do it in an empowering way.

A couple of years ago, I was so distracted by so many different things that it was difficult for me to see how miserable I was. When I started paying attention to my discontent, I made a vow only to do things that either made me happy or positively affected my inner growth and spirituality. I recognized that implementing healthy habits such as yoga, saying yes when I mean it, and keeping a tidy space all attributed to my growth. Addressing the uncomfortable stuff and looking at the relationships in my life also proved to be an essential step to this ongoing process. As I’ve been doing the work to seek happiness, calling checkmate on specific relationships has naturally been inevitable. I’m here to tell you; it’s okay! Every last one of us has full permission to let go of anything that no longer serves us, including our relationships. I’ve also learned that if I don’t prioritize my healthy habits and the intention to better myself, I’m not happy. And if I’m not happy, I’m not taking care of myself. And maybe you’ve guessed it; if I’m not taking care of myself, there’s no way I can take care of someone else and quite truthfully, that would make me miserable.

How do you know when a relationship’s working for you, and how do you know when it has run its course, aka checkmate? It took me quite a bit of time to discover values and boundaries and, more importantly, what they represented for me, but once I did, reasoning on who I spent time with, became clear and much more intentional. Without fail, the people I’ve surrounded myself with have always affected not only my thoughts, actions and behaviours but my overall energy, personal success and growth. Knowing my company reflects who I currently am or who I desire to become, is a critical factor for me. And identifying my core values and boundaries plays a massive role in my decision making of the game of chess, I call my life.

Disclaimer: do not call it quits on a relationship at the first sign of a challenge. Relationships are in our lives to teach us something, sometimes many things, and through this, we will all gain heeds of knowledge. But not all lessons have to last longer than they should, and if you’re struggling to support a relationship that isn’t healthy, it could be a sign to stand in your power and walk away. Sometimes the lesson in life is knowing when to call it quits. Do you have a current relationship that brings you joy, but also hurts and disappoints you? Have you already clearly explained what makes you uncomfortable, but you’re noticing the same repetitive behaviour? What are you willing to accept, and what are you ready to sacrifice in terms of your happiness and personal growth? It’s okay to release relationships that no longer serve you. Quite frankly, it’s the only way you’re going to make room for the new relationships that will.

Decisions we make in terms with who we spend our time with have the power to either guide our soul in the right direction or steer our soul away from who we truly are. These lessons give us a greater sense of self, a reason to explore and the energy to stay curious. When it comes to relationships, find a way to get comfortable within the uncomfortable, as you see fit. Grow together or recognize when it’s time to walk away. Use every opportunity you can to express your highest potential. Always be loving and choose the relationship you have with yourself first, and others wisely. Find certainty in that every time you listen to your heart, you are aligning with your soul and its very purpose.

Understanding the power of my thoughts and word; manifesting the hard way. Part One.

Manifesting our greatest desires has been such a hot topic these days, wouldn’t you agree? But the truth is, manifesting is something we all do on a regular basis, with or without the latest manual or online workshop.

I’m writing about one of the first times I indeed discovered the power of manifestation, and because I learned the hard way, it helped me understand just how powerful the mind truly is. The first rule to manifesting: The Universe does not have a sense of humour. Whatever you believe to happen, will be the experience you create. In my opinion, it’ll be worth throwing this bit of knowledge into the wind of caution. Always be curious and considerate about the things you think.

The power of thoughts, aka manifestation; became undeniable to me in the first quarter of 2016. I had just moved into my first solo apartment a few months prior and was still settling into the idea of affording my new life on my own, sans partner, and sans parent. At the time, my credit score was awful, and my paychecks, although healthy, were also unstable. There was no way of me to know how much money I could expect to make on a week to week basis, but here I was – doing it on my own.

At the time of my decision to fly the coop, my mom asked how I was going to afford my new home, take care of my bills, and pay for my car. I understood her concerns, but without hesitation, I explained that everything was going to be okay, besides I planned on getting rid of my car to free up some expenses.

Some friends at the time were also interested in how I was going to manage, so I gave them the same answer I gave my mom. I told them everything was under control. I knew I was making enough money (even if it was just enough money), and once I got rid of my car, I would have even more financial support.

A short interlude: I would on again, off again, remember that I missed a payment on my car lease. It happened once, but because I continued to pay every month following, I didn’t think twice about it. I did remember, on again and off again, that collections would periodically phone me looking for this amount, but I found myself too busy with life and would forget to call them back. On again, and off again, it would dawn on me that I kept pushing this installment to the side, always finding something else to spend my money on, thinking, “it’s okay, I’ll pay them next month. It’s not like I’ve missed more than one payment.”

On one particular Sunday, I had made a pit stop to my local weed shop. I had made plans with a friend that evening for a pint of beer but needed to kill some time before we met. So there I was, on my couch, feet placed on the edges of my coffee table — phone in one hand and weed cookie in the other. I ate my first half, put it back down on the paper bag and impatiently waited for it to kick in. Five minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes later. What was going on? Why didn’t I feel high? I messaged someone familiar with the store I made my purchase. “Hey, I ate half a cookie from the shop. It’s been about 25 minutes, and I can’t feel a thing. I think I’m going to eat the other half, thoughts?” More time went by, and I didn’t hear back from her. I picked up the other half of the cookie and ate another quarter. DING. She texted me, and her message read, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Explaining, “my boyfriend and 3 of his friends split a cookie four ways at the cottage last week and got so messed up. Don’t do it.”

Friends, I WISH I could sit here and tell you I intently followed the advice above, but I didn’t, and even though you kind of know what happens next, we’re just getting started. I looked at the last quarter of that cookie and popped it in my mouth, believing I could handle it. I put my shoes on and started to walk a few blocks to meet my friend for that beer. Seemingly, fresh air was all I needed because that’s when the effect of the cookie started to kick in. What was I thinking?

I remember getting to the bar. I remember sitting with my friend, and I remember not exactly what we said but uncomfortably explaining to her what I had just done. Everything outside our first five minutes with each other is nearly lost. The next day, I was left to rack my brain on the evening’s events to help me understand what had happened following my short walk to the bar. I got so high from that cookie, to this day, the very thought of going back to that lifestyle makes me sick to my stomach.

As I mentioned, the next day held a lot of time for reflection. How did I get home? What on earth was I thinking? And, Am I still high? I found out my friend put me in an Uber because I couldn’t walk home. I also remember listening to a voicemail from my dad, “Vanessa, it’s your dad (I always find that part of his messages so funny). Listen, can you give me a callback? I need to talk to you.” It was at that point I distinctly remember being in no state to talk to either my mom or my dad and had easily convinced myself not to call them back right away. So I sat down on the couch, picked up my phone and returned the call I couldn’t muster taking the night before.

“Hey dad, sorry I didn’t call you back last night, I was exhausted.” Without hesitation, “Vanessa, the cops were at our house last night. They were looking for you and asked where the car was. I had no choice. I had to give them your address.” My dad was more concerned than angry with me and told me I’d better figure it out. We hung up the phone.

I was left to think about what on earth was happening. Then, the oddest thing took place. A banging rapture echoed in my mind. Oh. My. Gosh. Was that banging last night coming from my door?!? I was in such a haze that I thought I was dreaming, or the banging was coming from a neighbour’s entrance down the hall. The more I tried to recall my memory, the more authoritative the knocking sounded. It must have been the cops. I had to go find my car. I put on my shoes, and I walked calmly to the elevator, heart pumping. I walked up the street to hopefully see my car where I had left it, and as you may have already guessed, it was gone.

I want to tell you I was shocked, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t even angry or confused. My naive mind couldn’t even be bitter; I was too impressed. How on EARTH did they tow that car out of such a tight spot? The mechanics of this left me baffled.

I walked back upstairs to start reassessing not only the situation around my car but the circumstances I had created in my life. It didn’t take me very long to realize; I needed things to change.

My car could have disappeared in a million and one different ways. The point is, I got rid of my car. The second rule to manifesting: We’re not in charge of how it happens, that role is entirely up to God.

Having my car towed was only 1 of 2 powerful manifestations gone wrong. Or shall I say, gone entirely, right? According to what my thoughts and words kept reaffirming, God only followed suit.

This short story is just the beginning of how I realized that manifesting can go either way. As far as the Universe is concerned, there’s no right and there’s no wrong. The only thing that exists is the energy of the very thoughts you hold and the words you choose to speak.

Part 2 to follow…

Here We Are. Shall We Get Started?

I’ve had this website domain for well over a year, and not much action has gone into it. I posted a couple of blogs when it first went up, but then I reformatted my link and deleted my posts months later to start over. I can undeniably say it was the perfectionist in me that decided to get rid of them.

I wish I could give you a light introduction to who I am, but the truth is I am many things. Over time, I am sure to unfold for my reader, but for now, I will let you know that I’m an active Intuitive Psychic, that has been reading for clients over the last several months. In yesterday’s reading, a card came up that familiarly struck me during this afternoons meditation. The message for my client was to start on her creative endeavours. To not worry about perfecting things as she needs to begin somewhere, to leverage her ideas off the ground. With this message, I have decided to listen to Spirit for my own accord and finally start writing for this blog consistently.

It’s brilliant how the Universe conspires to work with you and never against you. See, I have been feeling a little lost as of late. My whole world has changed over the last couple of years, and I find myself still in limbo. I feel unsure, and I’m questioning many things. I’ve also been in deep search, but of what, I find myself too uncertain. As I was sitting on my couch well before sitting down to write this entry, I heard an email notification go off on my phone. I looked at the time, and it was 2:37 pm. I speak to the Universe in numbers and usually do this by googling many number sequences throughout my day. Today, Angel Number 237 was certainly one of them. The message behind this number was letting me know that it’s possible to earn a living doing something that sets my heart and soul on fire.

Something I was aware of, but in tandem with my many questions and as of late soul searching, I again, was feeling a bit stuck. 237 was reminding me that my gifts are unique to me and bestowed upon me to share with the world. I knew my next step was to go back to the drawing board to think about what I enjoy about life. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve done this several times before, and in doing so, I have played around and tried out many things. Painting, filming videos for YouTube, makeup lessons, volunteering, and of course, writing. But in my reflections this afternoon, I realized deep down, I love to talk. I’ve said it for years, put me in a room with a large group of different kinds of people and I’ll be able to relate in some way or another – or at the very least, be completely drawn into a conversation. I would have to agree that one of my top-selling attributes is not only sharing stories but being an excellent listener of others, and with that, I have learned many things. Once I recognized how much I enjoy talking and sharing my stories, I got up from the couch, walked across the room to stare out the window and prayed to God, asking to receive help in finding joy. “God. (deep sigh) Please help me find happiness. What will make me happy?”

With that prayer, and a 40-minute meditation to sit on some things, I happily find myself at my computer typing up my first blog entry. I’m a product of personal success because I follow my intuition and the voice of my Higher Self and Guides. I listen to Spirit and do my best to follow instruction actively. In turn, I have opened many unexpected doors, have found much joy along my path and more excellent health and well being. I imagine posting to this blog will bring nothing but great excitement to my life, as sharing stories do make my heart flutter. So here we are. Shall we get started?

I’m 36 years old, and typically in this stage of life, most will find they are an expert at something, maybe even a couple of things. As for myself, I’m an expert at being downright human and bold enough to share my experiences, opinions and points of view. The basis of this blog will be precisely that amongst other topics of interest, such as working with Spirit in hopes to inspire others to do the same.

I once lived a life that appeared to be nothing but glamorous. And although exciting at times, it left me feeling empty, broke and incredibly lonely. Since making adjustments to my life, both major and minor, I find myself still searching for answers but on a path much clearer.

Before we do indeed get started, I want to thank you for taking an interest in what I have to share. It is sure to not only entertain you but inspire and uplift you the same.